Woodchuck stood at the edge of porch,
two feet tall and grinning,
finishing off my kale.
"Ohh, my beautiful salad," I groaned. "Couldn't you munch the dandelions instead? Must I whack you one to get through?"
Woodchuck smiled a toothy and spoke with British accent, "you are a Buddhist, it is said."
With my jaw agape and eyes like dinner plates, I stuttered, "uh...uh...cou...could we make a deal?"
Woodchuck closed his eyes for a moment of quiet contemplation, pearly whites still agleam.
"Uh...uh..." I breathed, my heart pounding like a jackhammer.
Finally, Woodchuck opened one eye and then the other, vectoring into my soul like a royal laser, "ok geezer, here's the deal...I eat anything and everything...and...you get nothingness."
I stumbled backwards to avoid falling down and gasped, "uh...uh...okay."
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